It's very difficult. My father died, and is now permanently gone. I cope with that fact not by that "memories will live on" nonsense (as you warned about), but by thinking about myself as his legacy. His life is honored now only to the extent that I (and my brothers) live meaningful lives. When I accomplish something, it is in part to honor my father's life, which was fairly remarkable itself (he was a WWII China-Burma-India Theater veteran and an early worker in automated building controls - a "green movement" that began more than 50 years ago).
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